Party Hearty's one-man "screening-committee" would like to formally announce that Sudi, the Chimp, will be contesting the corporation of Tunapuna/Piarco in the upcoming local government elections. (The list of aldermen is still to be finalized after negotiations with the spirits.)
Sudi is clearly the best candidate for the post. She has the kind of qualities we expect from a politician. She is as intelligent and has the mannerisms we have all come to know so well in our local politics: the fine oratory, the excellent debating skills and high-pitched screaming and grunting. The Chimp should transition from the Emperor Valley Zoo to the International Waterfront Centre with ease.
As a PH candidate, Sudi also has a certain je ne sais qua quality; the 'oomph' required for a true leader in this messy political business. She is also already suited to the task ahead and will fit right in with some of the veteran politicians, many of whom have long gone ape-sh*t.
Sudi the Chimp is also, clearly, capable of performing daring acts of tight-rope balancing and, most importantly, she knows how to escape from tricky situations. She will therefore be an invaluable parter in any partnership arrangement.
Furthermore, we also believe she will be the perfect foil to the ILP, for reasons which should be obvious.
PH notes, with triumph, that the COP political leader, and two-time acting prime minister, Prakash Ramadhar's failed to woo Sudi at his visit to the Emperor Valley Zoo last Tuesday. In a desperate bid to bolster membership, the COP, UNC, PNM and ILP have all been wooing animals in the zoo including Sudi, thinking her the kind of person they'd like to represent their ideals. But Sudi is smarter than all of them, knowing that PH is the party which will save the country from the dogs.
PH also takes this opportunity to note with alarm that all of the political parties are, in the coming days, announcing all 136 candidates for the local government districts across the 14 corporations. We have no doubt that 136 names X 3 parties will put the nation to sleep and, therefore, we are only announcing our intended 14 corporation heads. Details are to be ironed out (literally) in coming days.
PH will also like to announce that our aldermen lists will devised based solely on an eye-candy factor. Our ALL-THE-MEN eye-candy lists will be released at a later date. PH will keep the nation in suspense, pretending to be conducting negotiations with the afterlife, and then release out hotties just on the eve of the election, so look out for it soon ladies and gentlemen!
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