OUR CONSTITUTION

 CONSTITUTION 2007

Whereas the Limers/Party People of Trinidad and Tobago:

(a) have affirmed that the Nation of  Trinidad and Tobago is founded upon principles that acknowledge the supremacy  of all gods, especially Bacchus; faith in  fundamental human rights, especially the right to move to the right, move to the left, and waylaylay; the position of the limer in  a society of free women and free institutions and free up, the dignity of the human  person, and the equal and inalienable right to play de fool;

(b) respect the principles of social justice  and therefore believe that the operation  of the economic system should result in the material resources of the  community being so distributed so everyone can have a rag to wave, that there should be adequate corn soup, good beach facilities, and clean river limes for all; that labour should not be exploited or forced by economic necessity to fete in an old jersey but that there should be opportunity for liming on the basis of recognition of grease-waist, ability to cook curry duck, and integrity in every game of All-Fours;

(c) have asserted their belief in a democratic  society in which all persons may, to the extent of their capacity, play some part in the institutions of the national life, especially  play mas, and thus develop and maintain due respect for the road that make to walk on Carnival Day;

(d) recognise that men and institutions remain free only when freedom is founded  upon respect for winer-women, riptides, and the rule of flaw, which states, “I  may not be perfect, but take a drink to that”;

(e) desire that their Constitution should  enshrine the above-mentioned principles and beliefs and make provision, along with crab and callaloo, for ensuring the protection in Trinidad and Tobago of fundamental  human rights and freedoms,  especially the right to purchase KFC.

Now, therefore the following provisions,

along with some nice stew chicken, shallhave effect as the Constitution of the PartyHearty of Trinidad and Tobago:

THE RECOGNITION AND
PROTECTION OF FUNDAMENTAL
HUMAN RIGHTS AND FREEDOMS
PART I

Rights enshrined

Recognition of rights and freedoms and nice woman and liming pardners.

4. It is hereby recognised and declared that in Trinidad and Tobago there have existed and shall continue to exist, without discrimination by reason of race (or taking  your time), origin (or not knowing where you come from), colour (especially  green), religion (or fete mentality), sex (or lackado), the following fundamentalhuman rights and freedoms, namely:

(a) the right of the individual to be the life of the party, and enjoyment of property,  especially rent-a-tile, and the right not to be deprived thereof except by due process of feteing too much and having to

rest;

(b) the right of the individual to equality  before the law and after the lime done;

(c) the right of the individual to respect for her private life, especially if she takes a winer man home;

(d) the right of the individual to equality of treatment from any public authority in the exercise of any functions, including the Port-a-Potty;

(e) the right to join parties and to express views, including the view that “This party is it!”;

(f) the right of a parent or guardian to provide a babysitter of her own choice for her child or ward when she going cinema;

(g) freedom of movement, especially moving like you just doh care;

(h) freedom of conscience, unless your spouse in the same fete;

(i) freedom of thought, or not to think; and freedom of expression, but preferably not leering;

(j) freedom of assembly, especially by the pillars to meet your pardners before driving up to Maracas;

(k) freedom of the press, when the crowd so big you could hardly move.

Protection of rights and freedoms

5. (1) Except as is otherwise expressly provided in this Chapter, no law may abrogate, abridge or infringe or authorise the abrogation, abridgment or infringement of any of the rights and freedoms hereinbefore recognised and declared nor, save for this section, shall anyone be allowed to write a sentence using this kind of ridiculous language.

THE PRESIDENT

Establishment of office and election of President.

There shall be a President of Trinidad  and Tobago elected in accordance with the provisions of this Chapter who shall be the Head of State and Social Gatherings, Commander-in-Chief of the armed forces  as well as the leggy women; and the Designated Driver.

Qualifications and disqualifications for office of President.

6. (1) A person is qualified to be nominated  for election as President if, and is not  so qualified unless, he is a citizen of Trinidad and Tobago of the age of thirty-five  years or upwards who at the date of his nomination has been attending cocktail parties for ten years immediately preceding his nomination, and who can spout platitudes for any occasion.

(2) For the purposes of subsection (1) a person shall be deemed to lime in Trinidad and Tobago if he holds an office in the service of the Government of Trinidad and  Tobago and lives outside Trinidad and Tobago because he is required to do so for the proper discharge of his Functions, but returns for Carnival or Phagwa;

7. The President shall be disqualified for the post if (a) he is unable to exchange clichés with other persons in a peaceable manner; or (b) he can only fete in surroundings
costing many millions of dollars.

COMPOSITION OF PARLIAMENT

Establishment of Parliament.

8. There shall be a Parliament of  Trinidad and Tobago, which shall consist of the President, the Senate and the House  of Representatives.

9. (1) Subject to the provisions of this section, the House of Representatives shall consist of members who shall be  elected in the manner provided by Parliament, including free T-shirts.

(2) There shall be forty-one members of the House of Representatives or such other number of members as corresponds with the number of persons needed in each constituency to have a beach or river lime, a small goal match, a fete match, or any other kind of outing in TT.

(3) Where any person who is not a member of the House of  Representatives is elected to be Speaker of the House he or she shall, by virtue of holding the office of Speaker, knowhow to speak without spitting, find it necessary to use their hands when speaking, and be able to use the word “bolockshus” in a sentence.

Qualification for election as member

10. Subject to the provisions of section48, a person shall be qualified to be elected as a member of the House of  Representatives if, and shall not be qualified to be so elected unless, he -

(a) is a citizen of Trinidad and Tobago of the age of eighteen years or upwards, but looks good for their age; and

(b) has limed in Trinidad and Tobago for a period of two years immediately before the date of his nomination for election, bearing in mind that going to church, attending a yagna, or doing juma are not forms of liming under this Section.

Disqualifications for election as member

9. (1) No person shall be qualified to be elected as a member of the House of  Representatives who
(a) is a citizen of a country other than Trinidad and Tobago, unless they can prove they are a true Trini by steupsing, giving cut-eye, and saying “Good night” when they now reach the lime;

(b) doesn’t have a relative who is an  embarrassment to the family;

(c) treats a coup as a revolution, instead of a chance to lime.