Our candidate for Sangre Grande Regional Corporation: THE DRAGON

'We shall ensure that protected species like the leatherback turtle shall be protected. To this end, the Defence Force shall establish a presence in turtle nesting areas...'

I am simultaneously humbled and honoured that the Honourable Political Leader of Party Hearty has entrusted me to bring home the great local government body that is the Sangre Grande Regional Corporation.

For years this great institution has been treated with scant courtesy and utter contempt by the political parties which currently control and those which have done so in the past. I shall not detain you with their names, irrelevant as they are at this time because whenever the election bell rings the last thing anyone of them shall see is the tsunami of green that will sweep all of them away and into the Atlantic Ocean to their watery political graves where they will remain in damnation like Satan and his minions in John Milton's Paradise Lost.

Indeed, because we are contesting Sangre Grande - an area approximately 898.94 km, with lands blessed with flora, fauna and an abundance of natural potential all of which is green - it is a foregone conclusion that the only political party to give the people of Sangre Grande the best possible political representation at the local government level in the first instance is PARTY HEARTY.

As it's new representative the first order of the day is infrastructure. No more landslips and upgrades shall be done on all major and secondary roads into and out of the area. All bridges in this jurisdiction shall also be repaired. No longer shall the urban and rural areas which this corporation governs be as disconnected as they have been in the past. Feasibility studies shall be done immediately for a new water taxi terminal as well as new facilities for fishermen.

Fishermen together with farmers and their girlfriends shall be given what they need to carry out their trade to boost food production in Sangre Grande. Food which will be used to not only lower the country's massive food import bill but supply what I believe can be a thriving tourism industry once the right incentives are offered to hoteliers and guest houses in the area. There are already some good resorts in the area and I believe more can be encouraged to build in Sangre Grande giving tourists a green and serene environment in which to relax and enjoy the wonders of Sangre Grande. That being said eco tourism will be a major priority for Party Hearty in Sangre Grande.

We shall ensure that protected species like the leatherback turtle shall be protected. To this end, the Defence Force shall establish a presence in turtle nesting areas and shall be empowered to protect these gentle giants from any would be poachers without disturbing the turtles as they nest and then depart our shores. Persons found guilty of killing turtles, destroying their eggs and so on shall be slapped...............with a $20 million fine and be sentenced to life imprisonment in the Nariva Swamp.

I propose to build the Keshorn Walcott Sporting Academy in this jurisdiction to harness the potential of all future sportsmen and women in this area and use it as well as a mecca for sporting personalities and teams to hold regular training sessions here all year round. The instructors at this academy of course shall come from Cuba and the People's Republic of China in the first instance and they shall train a cadre of local professionals to eventually take over its operation.

There is much more I could say but I'll leave it for the campaign trail. So if you say what you mean put your X by the green the Party Hearty green on local government election day.

Our candidate for the POS City Corporation: LOWLEE

 

'I am not interested in petty party politics. As Mayor, one of my first acts, will be to run out all residents...' 

 

IT HAS been said that during the term of the incumbent, not once...not once has he ever stuck his neck out for someone, anyone from among the tens of thousands living and working within the precincts of the Port-of-Spain City Corporation. His excuse? He has no neck!
 

Well, I for one have plenty neck and thus with little fanfare I publicly announce my candidacy on a Party Hearty ticket for the 2013 Local Government Elections. I am not content with a mere councillorship. I am looking to be elected alderman and then Mayor of the capital of our great nation.
 

And while the incumbent is busy lea-sing or renting his opinions all over the place, all over radio and to any poor journalist unfortunate enough to chook a mic in his face, I will not knock the government over perceived sins which have left Port of Spain in a right royal mess.
 

I am not interested in petty party politics. As Mayor, one of my first acts, will be to run out all residents (especially the old ones, who obviously have an axe to grind against deafeningly loud wine and jook music and young gyul in skimpy outfit) along de Avenue and make that one big Party Hearty liming strip!!!
 

As your new Mayor, whenever tong floods during light to moderate drizzle, because of all of the rubbish thrown down the drains by members of the burgesses, instead of blaming “de govament” for the water, I will declare the city a - Swimming Only Zone (SOZ).
 

This way people will be allowed to swim in the flood waters of the SOZ to get to their destination. Thus, it will solve the problem of smog caused by so many vehicles in the capital and also reduce incidences of chronic non-communicable diseases such as diabetes and heart disease, since it has been well documented that swimming helps the cardiovascular system. Also, this competition to the Water Taxi Service will no doubt be a welcome development for those looking to improve that service.
 

As Mayor, TGIF will have real meaning in that all forms of labour - save and except for child-bearing labour - will be banned on Fridays. The weekend will start from 6 am on Friday and end at 6 am on Monday!!!! We can all party heartily until we either pass out, pass gas or pass the point of no return.
 

As you all well know, Party Hearty is an all inclusive entity, thus I would like to publicly call on Jack to give up his quest for Chaguanas West. Jack, you-en-see what this is doing to you? All this setta walking up and down Chaguanas go make yu get thin foot to go along with your thin skin. That is just one seat, Jack. I am offering you, if you be my running mate in this local government election, a more exalted seat — Deputy Mayor of the nation’s Capital.
 

All I ask, for this grand gesture, is for you Jack, to sponsor yuh boy’s campaign. Every dollar (whether Trini, US, or Fifa-preferred Swiss Franc) counts. Of course nothing in life is free.
 

If you join with me and abandon de pee-pee once and for all, I will give you all the green t-shirts you can ever dream of owning. I have an abundant supply of rich-green Party Hearty t-shirts. Green is definitely the way to go Jacko! (I note that the latest polls suggest Jack has a lead in Chaguanas West. Unfortunately, the same polls also say the PNM actually has a 13 per cent chance,  a clear indication that that poll is suspect!)
 

Having digressed somewhat, let me end by saying that my vision for Port of Spain when I become mayor is written down on some paper which I have in my proverbial back-pocket but I will only publicly divulge it’s rum-laced contents after the boss lady in the pee-pee announces the date for local government elections.
 

To the incumbent, I say good riddance and to my burgesses-in-waiting I say, put your ‘X’ next to the Party Hearty symbol on election day to ensure the kind of swaggerrific (sorry Bunji but I say it better than you) representation you all need and deserve. Let the partying begin!!!

Oh, and here's what I look like these days:

 

 

 

Presenting Party Hearty’s 2013 Local Government election slate!

Forget the other parties who are all still squabbling over which candidate is going to contest which area in the Local Government election. We’ve already got our candidates fixed!

A few of us got together in a rum shop the other day, sipped some Goldslager and Jagermeister shots, and “convened” the screening-committee meeting as per the party’s internal constitution. It was a short meeting, because one deputy (who shall Not bE Known to most of the general public) got really drunk, slapped up a member of The Children’s Authority (could you imagine our horror?) broke some glasses and then – to top it all off – refused to take a breath test. (His words: “Officer, can you see the light? I can!”)

Party Hearty today begins the unveiling of its 2013 Local Government Election slate. We start with the candidate for the Diego Martin Regional Corporation, Jaybee (aka Wappee).

Candidate for Diego Martin Regional Corporation: JAYBEE (aka WAPPEE)

 

'I eventually became a gambler, under the nickname of Wappee... I’m most suited to handle any complaints of my constituents – drink, gamble, write and party hearty.'

I’m the first to admit. I’ve been a “rogue element” in the media for the past 66 years. How come the police never caught up with me, is anybody’s guess.

I was fascinated, as a boy, about how the media operated. Some event happens today, and you’re reading about it in tomorrow’s paper. Now with the development of technology, the event is right there before your eyes on television.

No longer, people have to hustle home to listen to Lionel Seukeran, or Tubal Uriah Buzz Butler, or Norman Tang, Roy Joseph, or Albert Gomes on the Rediffusion box.

Fascinated by the lengthy and full reports on the broadsheet Port-of-Spain Gazette, or the Guardian. It was mostly about, what is now archaic – writing Shorthand.

Let’s back-track a bit.

From my early teens I developed from playing a chac-chac at the family home in Arouca. My aunt played the piano; another aunt played the guitar; my uncle sang, while my male cousin played the violin to complete the Babb’s band.

As a result, music also attracted me. I had a quiet wish that the talent my aunt displayed on the piano. My hope was that when she died, the talent would automatically transfer to me. But that did not happen. I had to learn it the hard way. From the home piano, I was elevated to the church organ, then elevated again to be choirmaster of a choir of about 30 persons. I was an organist for some 20 years. My friendship with cathedral organist, Prof. Alan Carr, helped me a lot with my music.

I also ran the gamut with a string of combos, featuring “JayBee and the Highlites” – playing music for people to fete and wine; then hustling to Arouca to be on the organ at 6 am. It was hectic, but I loved it.

I eventually became a gambler, under the nickname of “Wappee.” I would always hustle a wappee game in order to get 50 cents, so I could have gone to the cinema, and be comfortable in Pit with a mauby drink and a sandwich. By then I was real street smart.

My turning point in life came when  first I decided to dive into newspaper work, urged on by my late buddy, Stanislaus Mora. He hooked me up to the Gazette, where initially, I was a country correspondent, being paid the princely sum of one cent a line. Not that any story was more than 20 or 30 lines.

Six months later, when news got around I was a Shorthand whiz at around 150 words per minute, the Gazette then was seeking writers at 84 words per minute. The salary was $2.50 per week.

Initially, the job was a “shoo-in” for me. While at work I continued pursuing my Shorthand speed which got up to 200 words per minute. I worked at the Gazette for 10 years.

Shortly after Radio Guardian (610 Radio) was launched, and I became a radio news reporter.

As a prolific shorthand writer, I usually doubled between Radio Guardian and Trinidad Guardian newspaper.

On two occasions, through the courtesy of the US State Department, I was member of a Caribbean group of newsmen in the US, covering the presidential race of both John F. Kennedy, and Lyndon Baines Johnson.

Shortly after I returned from the US, I later joined the newly established local branch of the London Daily Mirror newspapers, during which I filled the roles of News Editor/Political Reporter/General Reporter.

Following closure of the Mirror, I returned to the Guardian, and it was then I was at the peak with my Shorthand writing ability. I was pushing at the time then to get close to Emily D. Smith’s world record of 300 words per minute. No sireeee, I got no further than 220 words per minute. I’ve been through a number of books. I must recall that I got some good training when the late Dr Eric Williams, on his entry into local politics. Any problem that confronted the then government, Williams would order – “set up a committee.” We Shorthand writers made some money – at the rate of ten cents per line. All of the Shorthand writers in Parliament were busy, hence they had to look for additional Shorthand writers from the private sector.

All through my working career, I will never forget the advice of my Shorthand teacher, Mrs. Gwendolyn Jordan-Elcock – “always trust your notes.” Ever since, that has never changed.

I experienced it through the years. Reporters who would use their tape-recorders, would often call, to seek corrections. It was simply because of a battery problem, or some other issue.

To cut a long story short, after spending some 33 years at the Guardian, I retired for one week-end, because by the following week I was in the midst of carpenters or joiners building desks and cupboards to get Newsday started. Since then I’ve been here.

Now doesn’t that tell you that I’m most suited to handle any complaints of my constituents – drink, gamble, write and party hearty.

 

 

 

 

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